Change

After a lengthy absence from my blog, I have started writing again. This rather abstract piece is just what came out when I started typing today. It is about change, renewal and transformation.

Change.

It’s hard to come by. We fight against it. We struggle to keep the status quo.

Right now there are many changes around us. In America, in the world, in our personal lives.

There are two types of people. Those who resist and those who seem to chase the change. Take the recent presidential election. There are those people who are frightened by what President Elect Obama means exactly by “change.” Change is disruptive. Change is painful. Change is not easy. Change is different.

Then there are those who worship Obama and the ideals that he represents. They see change as a rebirth and renewal. A sign of hope. A death and transformation of the old into something new, exciting and just.

In our own lives we fight these battles every day, though most of us choose to stay the same and avoid change. We live our lives. We are thirty years old. We are seventy. We are more or less the same as when we were twenty.

As I look back at my life I realize that I, too, have been resistant to change. I always thought I was so open, but I realized the hardest change to accept is change from within ourselves. We put barriers up that impede our progress toward self actualization and fulfillment and we continue to live with the same morals and patterns each day of our life. We forget to grow and we remain stagnant.

The past few months I have thought a lot about change. Transformation. Renewal. Rebirth. These are the words that have come to mind.

I struggle each day with just how to go about change. What’s natural is what comes easiest. The more and more I think about how I would like to change the harder it becomes to put my fingers on how to accomplish this.

Then I realized to change I must erase everything I once knew. Everything I believed was right starts to crumble before me and I am left with a collapsed empire that must be rebuilt. Many of those who are involved in mystic studies have a way of looking at this as a process of death. To be reborn, you must first die, and so death is the first logical step on the path to transformation and renewal. You must let everything go and start over. Look at things from a new perspective. Start fresh.

I feel a sort of death within me. Not in a literal sense, but in the metaphorical sense I just described. I feel like walls are slowly starting to fall around me and for that I am able to see all the more clear. I can wipe the slate clean of any grievances I may have held onto. Any self loathing I may have experienced.

Starting from the beginning with a strong understanding of what you want is the most logical way to rebuild anything. An architect wouldn’t try to create a building without first laying out the design and contemplating each type of material that was going to be used in the building’s construction. So must I be an architect and rebuild my belief systems with a solid foundation and plan of action. It’s much easier than patching up holes later.

Change is scary, but change is liberating. Change can make you a stronger person. Or it can destroy you.

There are two types of people. Those who run and those who face life and the change that comes with it. I have decided to become the latter.